"O Wretched Man That I Am!" - 2 Nephi 4 (Book of Mormon - Week Six)

This week, I discovered my absolute LOVE for 2 Nephi 4. This chapter answered prayers that I couldn't find the words to utter aloud. I guess this chapter tends to be referred to as either the Lamentations or Psalm of Nephi, and I now understand why. This chapter talks about Nephi's weaknesses - he is tempted, and those temptations "easily beset him" (2 Nephi 4:18). He talks about his feelings about himself because of iniquities - "when I desire to rejoice, my heart groaneth because of my sins," but goes on to speak of his Lord - his sole reason for continuing on fighting hard (19). There's so much I want to talk about with this. I feel like everything Nephi felt and the pleading with the Lord done here is how I feel often. I always desire to be so much more, and so much better, yet the simplest, silliest temptations are what tend to get me and take me farther away from my Lord. Nevertheless, I keep trying, and the Lord continues to motivate me to try, and I progress. Slower than I want to, but I still progress. I never highlight in my Book of Mormon saved for lecture, only in my set at home. But I couldn't help myself with this chapter - I highlighted everything.

I feel like if you just read the chapter as I did in personal study, you'll be able to feel Nephi's emotions just as I did and know that everyone falls short - even one of God's most beloved prophets. It is through the enabling power of the Atonement that any of us can make it back to our Heavenly Home. So, although that was the most powerful thing I attained from this chapter, I'll let you do that on your own. I want to talk about what we discussed in class with this chapter - the fail-proof step-by-step guide to recovering from a bad day. Here we go:

Step One: Have righteous desires.

Before even mentioning his weakness, Nephi speaks of his desires - "upon these I write the things of my soul...For my soul delighteth in the scriptures, and my heart pondereth them, and writeth them for the learning and profit of my children. Behold, my soul delighteth in the things of the Lord; and my heart pondereth continually upon the things which I have seen and heard" (2 Nephi 4:16-17). If your desires are good, you'll fall short less often. Sure, the pathway to hell is paved with good intentions, but even having good intentions is better than having none, and good intentions is just the first step. You cannot move on to bigger and better things if you don't know what bigger and better things you want or why you want them.

Step Two: Know your personal weaknesses.

From verse 17, Nephi goes on, saying, "Nevertheless...my heart exclaimeth: O wretched man that I am! Yea, my heart sorroweth because of my flesh; my soul grieveth because of mine iniquities. I am encompassed about, because of the temptations and sins which do so easily beset me. And when I desire to rejoice, my heart groaneth because of my sins..." (2 Nephi 4:17-19) Although Nephi does not tell us straight out what it is he struggles with, he makes it very clear that he does have his struggles. My last blog post talked about how we should look at out weaknesses. I think Nephi sees his weaknesses properly. He is humble and submissive because of them. What are your weaknesses? How do they make you unhappy? What do you want to do about them?

Step Three: Remember why you should stay strong.

Don't you love the word "nevertheless"? I never really noticed it until we studied it so in-depth this term! Nephi follows his lamentation with this word "nevertheless", meaning, "despite all of that". He says, "nevertheless, I know in whom I have trusted. My God hath been my support; he hath led me through mine afflictions in the wilderness; and he hath preserved me upon the waters of the great deep. He hath filled me with his love, even unto the consuming of my flesh (meaning "my worldly desires disappear")...he hath heard my cry" (2 Nephi 4:19-23). It's easy to get into a pity party when you forget the point of it all and forget that you have a God who loves you so much, knows your afflictions, and simply asks that you follow him and always improve, and He'll give you strength and blessings and mercy and pure joy unfathomable otherwise. Always remember Him.

Step Four: Count your blessings. Do what is right.

This totally goes hand-in-hand with step three. Nephi goes on through all of these "he hath" phrases from verse 20 through verse 25 (I mentioned some of them above, so I won't type out any more) talking about how blessed he is. Heavenly Father hears Nephi's cries and gives him protection and love and knowledge. Nephi does all he can to overcome temptation, and in exchange, the Lord gives him a boost and affirms that he is doing the right thing. Make goals. Always strive to be better. Keep your priorities straight. Work hard during the day and then cry aloud on your knees. Do all you can, and then stay positive and happy. If you're always looking at the negative, then negative is all you'll see. Look up.

Step Five: Re-evaluate the big picture.

From here, Nephi starts looking again, and asks questions. "O then, if I have seen so great things, if the Lord in his condescension unto the children of men hath visited men in such mercy, why should by heart weep and my soul linger in the valley of sorrow, and my flesh waste away, and my strength slacken, because of mine afflictions?...why should I give way to temptations, that the evil one have place in my heart to destroy my peace and afflict my soul?" (2 Nephi 4:26-27). Once you realize that your temptations and weaknesses come from man or from evil, you'll start to realize that your sorrow is so much less than your blessings. And then there is room for epiphany. 

Step Six: Re-convict yourself.

Here's where my heart just leapt, remembering the first moment I felt a re-conviction to the Lord. "Awake, my soul! No longer droop in sin. Rejoice, O my heart, and give place no more for the enemy of my soul...O Lord, I will praise thee forever" (2 Nephi 4:28, 30). If you thought you had righteous desires before, just you wait until you feel a re-conviction to the Lord. This feeling makes you realize just how strong your God is, and through Him, how strong you can become. It makes you never want to sin again, and it is the most comforting feeling in the world - because of your God, nothing will bring you down.

Step Seven: Plead to the Lord for strength.

This is where I always fall short - I would end my recovery with re-conviction. But Nephi goes on, asking the Lord to protect him and keep him from ever giving in to temptation again. "O Lord, I have trusted in thee. And will put my trust in thee forever. I will not put my trust in the arm of flesh...cursed is he that putteth his trust in man or maketh flesh his arm." (2 Nephi 4:34). To stay strong, you have to tell the Lord in prayer what you will do and what you need from Him - make a covenant with Him.

Step Eight: Always bring it back to your testimony.

"Yea, I know that God will giveth liberally to him that asketh. Yea, my God will give me, if I ask not amiss; therefore I will lift up my voice unto thee; yea I will cry unto thee, my God, the rock of my righteousness. Behold, my voice shall forever ascend up unto thee, my rock and mine everlasting God. Amen" (2 Nephi 4:35).