So I started my first term at BYU in Provo, Utah about nine weeks ago, and this week is my first week home. Because this term was so dang short, I've been reflecting on the quick but life-changing time I've had at the Y. I have always been worried about college, even in junior high! All of my breakdowns somehow involved "I'll never be successful in college and never get a job." My most recent was the night before AP testing my senior year. I tried cramming for AP Statistics and completely broke down. If I couldn't even handle studying for an AP test, how could I handle college? My wonderful mother calmed me down and told me I would be fine, but of course I didn't believe her until I actually got to college. So, for those of you who are heading off to college soon (or are just curious), here are a some things I would have loved to know.
1. Do not worry about the Freshman 15.
This was the biggest deal for me my first term. I feel like all through high school, all I ever heard about college was that it meant gaining weight. Because of that, I spent my whole first month of college being very weight conscious. I didn't eat when I was hungry - I ate two or three meals a day, even if my tummy was making grumblies in-between meals. My few meals were sparce on calories, too. Now don't get me wrong, of course it's important to eat healthy. However, I think all of the ominous talk about "the freshman 15" is dangerous. In my first two weeks at BYU, I lost four pounds. Once, I got so hungry, I passed out on my way home from the Creamery. Even after that, I still stuck to my diet. Finally, I talked to my older brother about it. In response, we went to Smashburger. Needless to say, after that, I realized that I wasn't healthy because I was trying too hard to be healthy.
The thing to remember about being in a university setting is that you're going to be walking way more than you ever have before. Experts claim that a "healthy" amount to walk is 10,000 steps each day. This summer, I walked between 15,000 to 35,000 steps every day. All of that walking, on top of a normal exercise routine (if you do that), means you need to eat for fuel, not just enjoyment. I stopped counting my calories and ate whenever I felt weak or hungry. My grades improved, my health improved, and I felt better. The only time you should worry about the freshman 15 is when you feel yourself gaining weight, otherwise, you'll make yourself sicker trying to avoid it.
2. Yes, college is harder than high school. But don't stress!
One of my biggest fears of my first term was getting bad grades. I was so afraid that I would fail in college despite my success in high school. I heard older peers come home from university and tell me how hard it was.
Here's the thing: college is tough. I spent at least two hours in the library every day. However, people say college is hard because the outcome completely depends on your input. If you spend your time playing, you're putting entertainment and your social life as your top priority, and that's what you're going to get. If you spend your time working, you're going to make tons of money. It's the same thing with academics: if you spend your time studying well (reading your flash cards before bed, do you reading before lecture, email your teachers, and do your work on time [this was the biggest thing - take it from a procrastinator like me]), you'll get your reward. I learned so much in my classes and got As in both of them because I put in that extra work and only pursued my social life after all of my work was done.
So, yes, college is harder than high school. But you have a LOT more time for whatever it is you're wanting to do. Make sure you have your priorities straight and you will reap whatever reward you're sowing.
3. Get organized in order to be successful.
Okay, I feel like I could write a separate blog post about just this. But this is super relevant to academic success. So anyway, I'm a really organized person (my mom might laugh if she reads this because she's seen my bedroom). But really, I'm at least good at time management. This has been my biggest key to success in my academic career. My routine makes it near impossible for me to procrastinate without feeling guilty and ensures everything gets done. I utilize my phone, my supplies, and my environment to be successful, and honestly, I don't know how people can find success without actively organizing their time. Hopefully I can outline my system well enough to be understood. Don't be afraid to comment or talk with me for clarification.
My binder: I keep a monthly calendar on my binder cover. Here's a picture of an example one (August is a little different than normal because most of my pens were packed and I'm on break half of the month):
I put my important events here. You don't need much detail in a monthly view. Also, I color code my planner. Deadlines are in red. Daily stuff (less important appointments/weekly classes) is in black. Dates and parties are in a fun color like purple or pink. This helps me see how quickly deadlines are approaching, and also what fun things I have to look forward to. I have my monthly goals in the corner by the month so I always keep in mind what's most important.
My cell phone calendar and reminders: So this is where I get a little crazy... I organize my time for everything - even my sleep schedule, exercise, and spiritual growth. Here's a less-crazy example:
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So as crazy as this seems, it's really nice to be able to allot a certain amount of time for everything I need to do every day, so everything gets done (or at least thought about). I just recently learned that the iPhone calendar lets you set alerts for your events, so I started putting a five-to-fifteen minute alert on each event as an additional reminder. And it rocks.
Another great resource is the "reminders" app on the iPhone. This gives you alerts for little things you can't forget, but don't want to put time aside for in your calendar. I use this for things like checking accounts, paying my bills, selling my college textbooks, writing a thank you note, or calling someone back. It's nice, because you can remind yourself at any time (so I usually schedule for times that correspond with the "white areas" of my calendar), and then just let it be if you can't tackle it right away. The reminders won't bother you constantly, but they stay stacked up in the app so you are always reminded!
I also write my goals everywhere around me. On my mirror in my bathroom at home, I usually have five goals to get accomplished. Through the years, they have ranged from "exercise four times a week" to "treat everyone how you want to be treated." I also write my goals in my journal and how I'm doing with them. It helps a lot!
4. You will be homesick.
I don't care who you are, you're going to get homesick. I was super independent in high school. Home was just a place for food and sleep. And yet, I got so homesick. I prayed about it a lot and talked to my (amazing) religious leader for help. My leader told me to embrace where I was and utilize my time so I wouldn't even have time to think about home. So, from that point on, whenever I felt alone, I went out. I went over to the dorms and knocked on doors and made plans. When I didn't feel like being social, I studied extra. When I was sick of studying, I went on a run or swam laps at the pool. I also stress cleaned a whole lot (the boys in my neighboring dorm can testify that their dorms were squeaky clean, because when I was sad, I went to work on their kitchen!). It helped a ton. I didn't have time to think about home, I was too busy doing good for myself! I hope all of that helps. Know that it's totally normal to be lonely and homesick in college, even when you're surrounded by people! You will find amazing friends to talk with about it and find some things that worked for you. Usually all it takes is finding something else to put your mind on.
5. Everyone is trying to be better than they were.
No one wants to be the same person they were in high school, and everyone has expectations of who they are going to be in college. But remember, old habits die hard. For me, I wanted to be a less gossip-y, more positive person. I was great for the first month, but when the stress came, I was Negative Nancy again. You might find that with yourself (I hope you don't). But you're definitely going to see that with other people and wonder why high school never ended. Be kind to others knowing they have stuff they're working on too.
6. Fake it 'til you become it.
The best way to change yourself is to try to fit those qualities you desire in yourself. The most common example I've noticed is with confidence. How do you become confident when you're stuck with yourself literally 24 hours a day, seven days a week?
This TED talk is one of my favorites. It's aimed towards women, but applies to men too. She says to "fake it until you become it." That's the only way to become who you want to be. Just remember to be genuine to yourself and others.
7. Changing yourself is an eternal process. It's not all gonna happen in one semester.
As I mentioned earlier, I was disappointed at first with the progress I made in summer term. I got home feeling pretty sad because I hadn't accomplished everything I wanted to in the two months I was there. But then I remembered the progress I had made on many of my personal goals. I also remembered that it took me a long time to make changes I wanted to make when I was in my early teens, and now I'm everything I wanted to be then (and more). You're already one step ahead by making goals for your first term. Be easy on yourself when you're actually trying to achieve them. Really, becoming the person you want to be will take the rest of your life. As long as you're on the road to becoming better and putting in real effort, you're golden. Be patient and let yourself learn along the way.
8. Nothing is really going to be the same after you go to college.
You're going to come home and find that things are different since you've been gone. The neighbor's have painted their house, and the gas station has closed. But more than that, your parents might have made new traditions. Your room might be in boxes. I had a friend who came home to no bed and has to sleep with his little brother for the break. Allow yourself some time before you leave home to say goodbye to everything. As cheesy as it sounds, it's nice. You're now starting your life as kind of an adult now. That's pretty scary! Look around and appreciate the time you've had with everything. Not remorsefully or longing for more, but appreciate the memories associated with everything and everyone around you, and then let it go. Be ready for new memories. Don't be that guy still living in high school even when he's in his forties. Be happy with the childhood you've had and let yourself move on.
9. There are some killer deals for students.
Enough of the mushy gushy! We're starving students here. Bring your ID card wherever you go and ask if they have discounts for students. You might be surprised! I've gotten lots of free drinks and fries through my ID card. Some stores have student discounts too, like Ann Taylor, where you can get 20% off your purchase with your school ID.
LunchBox is a great app on the iPhone for finding free food. You can select what university you're attending, and people will post events where you can get free food. I went to an IT conference in the summer, but I'm a journalism major. I totally wasn't going to learn about IT, I was going for lots of free pizza, but I also learned some interesting stuff! Kill two birds with one stone.
If you use Spotify, they have
student accounts that are
half off. Yeah, that's right. I didn't learn about this until two weeks ago, and I was SO pumped. See, ten bucks a month is outrageous to me. But lower that price to five bucks a month, and I'm totally down. I could give up a burger meal every month for unlimited free music without ads or limits.
Also, we've all heard of Amazon Prime. But for students, you can
get a free trial for six months. This is awesome, because it's all the benefits of Amazon Prime without the price, meaning you can get rush shipping on lots of books (which tend to be cheaper on Amazon compared to your university's bookstore) for less than regular shipping. And after this six month period, your Amazon Prime account will cost $10/month compared to $20. If you refer others to this service, you'll get money taken off of that. So it's pretty cool! At least for that six month trial period. NOTE: Using the link here does give me money for referring you at no cost to you, but if you would rather not, I'm cool with it, you can also just google Amazon Prime Student and you'll find the deal.
10. There are some killer resources for students.
Go to your school's new student orientation. Yeah, it seem like a waste of time for you, but you get free stuff, meet people, have fun, and learn lots about your school. I would have been lost on campus if it weren't for NSO.
Try talking to your RAs or older friends at school. They might have some fun tips to class. I learned where the best spots to hammock are, great date night deals, and fun places to go on campus through my mentors, RAs, and older friends.
Say what you will about Pinterest, but there are some awesome places to find tons of blog posts for students! I've learned a lot through Pinterest, actually. Take a look at
my college board! I think it rocks, I'm not biased or anything;)
Well, good luck with school guys! If you have any questions, want additional tips, or just want to add to what I've said, don't be afraid to talk to me through social media or in comments! I'd be happy to help. Happy studies!
But here's the thing - God does speak. He also speaks to individuals. Have you ever had one of those days that you were knocked down to your knees because you didn't know who else to turn to? I know I have. Tell me, have you ever felt better afterwards? Someone might have come up to you and said just the right thing to help make your day better or solve your problem. That was Heavenly Father's way of telling you He loves you. Whether it is done by Him or by His servants, it is the same (D&C 1:38). Why would God just suddenly stop talking? If He loves all of His children, He would guide all of them through to the very end, not just give a single book of answers and say, "well, I guess that's sufficient". God does not love us a sufficient amount, He loves us more than we can ever imagine. His love is unfathomable - so it only makes sense that He would guide us all until the very end. He knows you by name and loves you more than you could ever know!
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